It’s 6 p.m. on a Monday. I’m wheeling my shrieking baby across the store. We power-walk to the very back aisle. I’m looking over my shoulder the entire time. Had any employee been around, they probably would have suspected shoplifting.
We finally make it to the right aisle. I cautiously look around once more and enter quickly. Relief. I didn’t run into anyone I know. I select my item off the shelf and quickly hide it behind the baby’s car seat in the cart. So far so good.
Now at this point, you’re left thinking: 1) I am, in fact, shoplifting as the imaginary employee suspects, or 2) I’m buying home pregnancy tests for my mom.
Just a hint: Both are false. (Side note: She is expecting now. No, I’m not joking.)
So what am I doing?
Well, friends, I am purchasing formula for my really hungry baby. On our quick trip to the checkout counter, I continue to survey the area, ready to duck out of the way should a familiar face appear.