Alone with a newborn, exhausted, and struggling to breastfeed – would you have liked your partner to be able to stay with you after giving birth if it were possible?
When it comes to letting your partner stay the night after you’ve given birth – hospital policies vary.
Some don’t allow it at all, some let the dads stay if you’re in a private room, and we’ve even heard of some where the dads are allowed to stay – but NOT to fall asleep.
We decided to ask our mums what their experience was and the response was HUGE.
Here’s what you told us…
Those whose partner stayed
A few did get the chance for your partner to stay – and most of you really appreciated it.
“My partner did stay with me as I gave birth in an NHS birthing centre where each mother has a private room, and I am so glad he did!” Alexandra T told us.
“We were able to share all the firsts like getting him dressed etc and I was able to leave my son confident his daddy was watching him when I was finally able to get up (after a traumatic birth) to go to the toilet in the middle of the night.
“He had his own fold-out chair bed and was allowed to use my ensuite shower if he needed to, it was excellent!
“I have no experience of him not being with me as our son was my first but I would definitely not want it any other way.”
Rebekah H had this to say: “When I had my daughter he was allowed to stay over and he was the best help ever. He wasn’t loud and didn’t make the other ladies uncomfortable on the ward etc – he just made sure I had plenty of food and changed every nappy for me.”
Some of our mums have experienced births where the dad was able to stay – and where he wasn’t. For Nicola R, having her partner there for her 3rd time having a baby made a big difference.
“My hubby wasn’t allowed to stay with first 2 kids but was with no 3… made an incredible difference – I felt I could go to the loo without someone potentially stealing my beautiful new baby…
“And I got home within hours because he didn’t take any crap. I was too exhausted to fight and wanted my own bed!!!”
Those whose partner didn’t stay – and who wish they had
“My hubby and sister left me at around 1am. I was left alone with my first newborn, exhausted with no idea how to breastfeed. I was terrified,” says Paula S.
“I texted him all night. If he could have at least settled us I’d have been happier, but he couldn’t even come to the ward until 9am the next morning.”
Shelley D agrees: “I would have loved my partner to have stayed. Emergency section and very unhelpful staff made my hospital stay quite distressing.
“Having him there would have helped me look after my son and also not make me feel so alone in it all.”
Those who reckon it’s better than partners aren’t there
Not all our mums agreed that having dad there is necessarily a good thing, though.
Catherine F said: “Maternity wards should be for mums and babies. I wouldn’t want random men sleeping overnight in the same room as me.
“Also I loved the mummy snuggles in the hospital in the middle of night getting to bond with our baby and feeding them.
“Those times you will never get back. Plus there’s no need to clog up the hospitals with everyone’s partners as hospitals are rammed already and space is limited.”
And Natalie B takes a similar line, saying: “Personally I don’t agree with this, there are only curtains separating beds at my local hospital.
“After giving birth a woman has usually undergone some form of trauma and may need to be catheterised etc leaving her in a state of undress.
“There is little privacy as it is with visitors back and forth.
“Whilst it would have been nice to have my husband at the hospital after 2 births I don’t think it is right to make women feel uncomfortable.”
Wow – loads of interesting points there, eh?
What do you think?