Sunday , 21 January 2018

I Will Always Ask You If Your Child Is Vaccinated, And Here’s Why

Hey new mom friend,

Ashley here. Jackson’s mom — yes, that Jackson. The one with the trach, the one with the CHD (congenital heart disease), and the one your little one just invited over to play. Or maybe we set up the time to meet. Either way, I’m super excited to be getting together. Play dates are the best, right? Or is it the wine? Whatever — I’m pumped.

You see, Jackson spent a lot of time in a hospital. A lot of time being poked and prodded. A lot of time being a patient instead of a baby. So getting to do these kinds of things with him is amazing. And, it’s great for me, too. My husband and I spent a lot of time in that hospital, and we were so looking forward to the day when we could take him home and let him meet the world head on.

But, I have a question to ask you, and it may be a little personal.

Is your child vaccinated?

Ah, the “v” word — a word that is almost as emotionally charged as the last election. A word that a lot of people tend not to talk about because they believe “it’s personal” or “it’s a choice.” That it’s something that isn’t anyone else’s business — a family decision that affects their family and their children alone. But for us — it’s not.

Jackson was born full-term, but that doesn’t mean he was quite ready for the world just yet. Born at 38 weeks, Jackson weighed in at about 5 pounds, not even hitting the first percentile on the growth curve. That’s OK, though, a lot of babies are born his size. But that wasn’t his only issue — he had a jaw that was too small and a heart that wasn’t whole and a belly that didn’t quite make it all the way to complete when it was forming. He was born with a lot of challenges — challenges we met with as much strength and grace as we could muster, but they were challenges nonetheless.

Along with these challenges came compromises, concessions that had to be made to allow him to grow and develop. He had a tracheostomy, bowel resection and open-heart surgery before 4 months of age, and all the while, we battled infections and illnesses, treating them the best we could, throwing high doses of very powerful antibiotics his way and stressing his system in ways that a baby shouldn’t have to be stressed.

We had to make another big compromise too. We had always planned to get Jackson vaccinated. My husband and I have done the research and understand the studies. We know the risks and we know the benefits and we know that preventing diseases that can be prevented isn’t even a question for us, especially after seeing the aftermath of the ones we can’t prevent. The issue, though, is that vaccines aren’t always top on the list in a hospital setting. When it comes down to the question of “life-saving surgery” or “hepatitis B shot,” it can be easy to understand how one is chosen over the other. Plus, his immune system, already compromised from being in the hospital and having his little body opened up so many times, just isn’t quite ready to take on the vaccines just yet.

Sure, we’ll get there. We’ve talked to his doctors and have a plan to catch him up, but it won’t happen overnight. So, in the mean time, he’ll be susceptible to those preventable diseases we talked about before.

One of the arguments I hear a lot when it comes to a choice not to vaccinate your children is that they are your children — you know their medical history and what they need. They don’t have any problems that would make it hard for their bodies to fight off disease, so why do they need the help? Why not let nature take its course and treat the disease as it comes?

But there is Jackson, and the thousands of kids like him diagnosed with congenital heart disease at birth. Or the thousands of kids going through cancer treatment. Or the kids born with an immune system that wasn’t quite right or the countless other children who are too young or too sick or can’t be vaccinated for one reason or another. You probably wouldn’t even know some of them have had life-saving surgery or spent months behind hospital walls, but they have. And they need your help.

You see, when these little ones get sick, it doesn’t necessarily just run its course at home with a few days of bedrest and chicken noodle soup. It’s hospital trips, oxygen machines and rounds of antibiotics we hope work but that might just not because their bodies have been exposed to them so many times. It’s continuous monitoring and sedation and being set back even further when it comes to development. And, for some of these little ones, it might be the hospital visit they don’t come home from.

Maybe it’s too much for me to ask that you vaccinate your child because we can’t vaccinate ours just yet. Maybe it feels pushy or preachy or overbearing. Maybe it feels like I’m forcing my beliefs on you and not letting you parent how you see fit.

Or, maybe it’s not. Maybe it’s not too much to ask. Maybe it’s just one mom asking another to help her little one go to a daycare, school, or the playground without worrying. Maybe it’s one mom trying to give her little one a shot at a childhood free from the hospital he lived in for much of his young life.

So, I hope you’re not offended when I ask. And I hope it makes you think a little about your decision, one way or the other. And I hope you like white wine, because I brought two bottles.




  1. ProtectAllChildren

    Not to sound insensitive because all parents suffer when their children suffer. It’s tragic and my heart knows what this feels like. I pray for all children and parents to never experience this, and if they do, I pray for strength and divine guidance.

    But I will pose this.

    I’m allergic to certain artificial chemicals. I stopped taking birth control pills as a result of that. Does that mean that everyone else will get pregnant?

    You’re asking for something of us that is illogical. We all have our personal reasons to avoid certain medical interventions. Some are life-threatening.

    We’re EACH morally obligated to take ownership of our health and lifestyle choices. I eat wholesome, I live a holistic lifestyle, I make my own medicines and I nurture my immune system.

    In fact, if me or mine did vaccinate, by AMA, AAP and CDC standards, we would not be allowed to get near your child for fear of viral and bacterial shedding that occurs with many vaccines.

    I’m sorry. Your request is actually detrimental to your child. And to others.

  2. Charles F Robey

    No amount of wine be it white or red or bubbly for that matter will make me put my children in danger by vaccinating. Besides if you were to ask me if I vaccinate my kids I would tell you it is none of your business and that by asking you are violating HIPPA laws.. What type of medical procedures or lack thereof is for me and my family to know and not for you to as you do not have the need to know regardless of what illnesses your little one has.. Besides don’t you know that it is not the unvaccinated that are the carriers it is the vaccinated as the viruses they were vaccinated against shed for months some even years after they are injected into your little ones body..

  3. Both of my kids have been vaccinated, but let me tell you something: vaccinating my kids is not going to keep your kid from getting sick. In fact, if I had an immuno-compromised child, I wouldn’t allow a recently vaccinated (within 3-6 weeks) person near my child, because so many of these vaccines shed for 3-6 weeks after vaccination, which could make an immuno-compromised susceptible to the disease vaccinated against, like MMR, DTap, Flu, Chickenpox, etc. So, please do not think that just because someone has been vaccinated that they are protecting your child. It is quite the opposite if they have been recently vaccinated. That’s why in hospitals you will see signs that say, “If you have been recently vaccinated, please stay out of ICU, Cancer treatment areas, etc.”



  4. Great job trying to kill your baby, looks like you’re succeeding as if that wasn’t enough asking everyone else’s child to be injected with vaccines including live virus vaccines that shed and can also infect your child via the vaccine injected child shedding the virus for over 30 days. Looks like you covered all avenues to keep your child sick.

  5. So in other words, because your child has problems, you embrace stupidity and don’t understand how vaccines don’t work, how the immune system actually works, or how to mind your own damned business.

    You are truly an imbecile. Don’t breed any more, period.

  6. You should be asking “does your child currently have a communicable illness?”. That is what may endanger youy child’s health. An unvaccinated child is not sick with communicable diseases by default, they just don’t have the protection that vaccination may (or may not) provide. There is a huge difference between these two questions and I encourage you to contemplate which one gets you the information you truly need to look out for you child the best

  7. Christy Lynn Day

    I vaccinated mine had never heard of the dangers I trusted my Dr and he passed away from them. And being that your son has had health problems if I Dr actually VACCINATES him that is terrible I hope you look into it more children with health issues normally do not make it and the selective route doesn’t work it only takes one! I hear of atleast one child a week that dies from vaccines it is not rare like people think! And the unvaccinated kids are the most healthy children. The truth is none of those vaccines ever erradicated anything. Being more sanitary played the bieest role. Ask yourself why our children need 72 vaccines by the age of 18 and we had 5 ? Why ? It’s got alot to do with money and pharma companies . But I won’t go there . Please look at some sites like you can read my babies story Reid is his name has great info before you vaccinate ! Bc you child has a greater risk of not making it from the vaccines than he does from getting any disease! When outbreaks happen many fail to mention it was spread from a vaccinated child and 98 percent of the ones who caught it we’re vaccinated for it. Unvaccinated children are no harm to vaccinated ones it’s actually the other way around vaccinated kids have so many viruses in their bodies and unvaccinated have none. They do not just magically create diseases ! Please feel free to contact me for more info

  8. Oh, well my two daughters were fully vaccinated and contracted whooping cough and gave it to my baby, who hadn’t been vaccinated yet. So…I think you’re asking the wrong question there, in addition to the fact that legally you have no rights to know someone else’s medical history.

  9. Sorry to know about your sick child but do you expect parents to risk their child’s health for yours and how much sympathy does anyone care to give these families?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Thanks for visiting! If you want to see more content like this in your news-feed, don’t forget to give our page a like on Facebook.

Powered by WordPress Popup