Sunday , 21 January 2018

I Won’t Kiss My Kids on the Lips Because It’s Sexually Inappropriate

We’re excited to share this post written by Eden Strong from  YourTango.

Recently, writer Sabrina Rogers-Anderson wrote an article titled, “Kissing Kids on the Lips Could Be Confused as Sexual? Ridiculous!” in which she states:

“Let me get this straight: when my 2-year-old leans in for a slobbery kiss, I’m supposed to push her angelic little face away and explain to her that she’s being ‘inappropriate?’ Should I follow this up with telling her that her skirt is too short and I don’t want her listening to that slutty Rihanna’s music anymore?”

Um, well, I’m going to fill in that answer for you: Yes.

This is what you do instead. You tell your daughter, “We don’t kiss on the lips,” you plant a kiss on her cheek, you change her into an appropriate length skirt, and then you turn off whatever slutty music she’s listening to.

I’m not, have never been, and never will be a parent who kisses my kids on the lips and to use Rogers-Anderson’s own words, I think it’s ridiculous to do so.

Lips are for lovers. Period.

I don’t kiss my friends on the lips, I wouldn’t greet my boss with a kiss on the lips, and I don’t want my children greeting their teachers with a kiss on the lips. So why on earth would I teach my children that it’s OK to go around kissing people on the lips? I won’t.

Rogers-Anderson says that kids should know the difference between what they’re allowed to do at home vs. what they’re allowed to do in the real world. But the truth is, when you expose your kids to something at home, the more comfortable they are sharing it in public.

It’s called desensitization, and it’s a well-known effect of exposing children to things like sex and alcohol at such an early age. By the time they’re older, self-imposed “limits” don’t register as limits at all.

I don’t want my child kissing other children and, furthermore, in a culture full of sexual predators, I don’t want there to be any confusing boundaries when it comes to what is and isn’t appropriate behavior.

Don’t get me wrong: I kiss my kids all the time, all over their little heads and cheeks — just never on the lips. And no, it’s not mean or harsh, or any of the other things Rogers-Anderson seems to fear.

My kids aren’t being deprived of affection; they’re just being taught a more appropriate way to express it.

(Hell, if I let them my children do everything they wanted to do to me, they would’ve pulled out all my hair and poked out both of my eyes at this point.)

It’s not unlike when I tell my 4-year-old son who shamelessly runs through my room naked that yes, he can absolutely come snuggle with me in bed . . . as soon as he puts some pants on. I’m not rejecting him; I’m teaching him healthy boundaries.

Just because they’re kids doesn’t make it OK. What you teach them now is what they learn from in the future.

I love my kids, I love to kiss my kids, but I won’t be kissing them on the lips.




  1. I think you should stop reading Rogers-Anderson whatever.

  2. So do you snuggle in bed with your friends, boss, or your kids with thier teacher?? Just wondering cause you say that lips are for lovers and you would never kiss your friends, boss, or wouldn’t want your child kissing thier teacher on the lips but then your fine with snuggling?? A little bit double standard.. how is snuggling different? Just trying to connect the dots for you.. I will continue to kiss my 4 year old on the lips like I have since day one and show him LOVE! nothing at all sexual or inappropriate about it.. just like you snuggling.. once he’s older he will no longer want kisses on the lips and then it will be inappropriate but at 4 it’s natural…

  3. Wow… This lady isn’t very bright.

  4. Kissing u child is not sexually if u think like that than u shouldn’t have kids …. I kiss all 4 of my kids my oldest is 8 and he still gives me a kiss .. We don’t sexualice anything … I have 3 boy’s who are leaening to be man and respect women and not see them as a object or toy .. And same with my daughter who will learn to be a strong independent women … If u sexually everything even a simple kiss u just breaking u kids to be does mosters who think the can treat people wrong and how ever the want and the will learn and think a kiss means not love just sex … …. My parants kissed me and i never thought about it wrong and never thought about sex or anything till much older .. And we always learn a kiss is love and like and has nothing to do with sex …. Smh people like that who think wrong will do wrong .

  5. You are absolutely ridiculous and are sexualizing children. I couldn’t imagine turning my baby away when she wants a kiss, or telling her that any music is “slutty”.

    I can’t even believe the bullshit that I just read. Lips are for lovers. GTFO…..

  6. This is probably one of the most stupid blog post I have ever read in my entire life. I bet that you didn’t breastfeed either because breasts are for men as well not for food. I have literally never read anything more asinine and ridiculous in my entire life and I will continue to kiss my baby boy on the lips every day until he doesn’t want to anymore. Honestly I would say that you need to meet with a psychologist and talk about your sick view points on kissing children because you may be a pedofile….. god help us all

  7. Absolutely tragic. You seem to live in some strange fantasy world laden with sexual innuendo. I have kissed my daughter on the cheek, the neck and the lips. She is 22 now and married. I kissed my parents on the lips. When I got older, I didnt. You calling sexual attention to the innocent gesture of affection from r child is just pathetic. Really and truly sick. No go judge someone, as I am sure that is what your day is spent doing.

  8. So, what you’re saying is that your place in your child’s life is no different than his teacher’s, or friends, or pretty much anyone in the world. You’re saying that you don’t have any stronger a bond with him than anyone else. Because if he’ll kiss you on the lips, he’ll kiss ANYone on the lips. Either that or he doesn’t have the sense God gave a gnat because he can’t differentiate between his bond with his mother and his relationships with his teachers, friends or anyone else. You cuddle him, bathe him, feed him, play with him and comfort him… do his teacher’s, friends and aquaintences do those things? Give your head a shake. There is not one single thing about a child that is in any way sexual. Their bodies and affection are 100% pure, natural and innocent. If there’s any sexualization at all its on the adults part. And that’s absolutely disgusting. You should be ashamed of yourself.

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