Monday , 25 September 2017

“Why You Carry Her On Your Arms, You Will Spoil Her” – Her Answer Makes The World Cry

Kelly Dirks, the mother of several children with special needs, noticed that the people in the shop watching her, because she carries her child instead she put it in the cart.

An unknown woman walked to her and warned Kelly that she will spoil the child, because she carries instead of pushing in a wheelchair.

Here’s what Kelly responded on her Facebook page:

13087599_10209140923550525_6793463093290142714_n

“Dear Woman in Target-

I’ve heard it before, you know. That I “spoil that baby”. You were convinced that she’d never learn to be “independent”. I smiled at you, kissed her head, and continued my shopping.

If you only knew what I know.

If you only knew how she spent the first ten months of her life utterly alone inside a sterile metal crib, with nothing to comfort her other than sucking her fingers.

If you only knew what her face looked like the moment her orphanage caregiver handed her to me to cradle for the very first time–fleeting moments of serenity commingled with sheer terror. No one had ever held her that way before, and she had no idea what she was supposed to do.

If you only knew that she would lay in her crib after waking and never cry–because up until now, no one would respond.

If you only knew that anxiety was a standard part of her day, along with banging her head on her crib rails and rocking herself for sensory input and comfort.

If you only knew that that baby in the carrier is heartbreakingly “independent” –and how we will spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, and years trying to override the part of her brain that screams “trauma” and “not safe”.

If you only knew what I know.

If you only knew that that baby now whimpers when she’s put down instead of when she is picked up.

If you only knew that that baby “sings” at the top of her lungs in the mornings and after her nap, because she knows that her chatter will bring someone to lift her out of her crib and change her diaper.

If you only knew that that baby rocks to sleep in her Mama’s or her Papa’s arms instead of rocking herself.

If you only knew that that baby made everyone cry the day she reached out for comfort, totally unprompted.

If you only knew what I know.

“Spoiling that baby” is the most important job I will ever have, and it is a privilege. I will carry her for a little while longer–or as long as she’ll let me–because she is learning that she is safe. That she belongs. That she is loved.

If you only knew…”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Thanks for visiting! If you want to see more content like this in your news-feed, don’t forget to give our page a like on Facebook.

Powered by WordPress Popup